I'm lonely

So, here is the reality.  I have met a few people in my temporarily adopted country of England, and one or two could potentially become close friends, but I am severely lacking in community.  I have always lived in cities with thriving radical "scenes", and even though my lifestyle has often made it so I don't have time to fully immerse myself in a given scene, I've always been welcome to stop in, revamp, and revitalize.  I don't really have that here.  There is a very nice community group, and their project is important, but I find it very hard to get inspired by them, with them.  They are a group of mostly men who claim to be anarchists, but constantly strike me and controlling and centerist.  They almost always apologize for this whenever it is brought up, and they really are very nice and well meaning, but they don't create the cocoon that I have relied upon for so many years.  I sometimes think that I am giving them the anarchist reality check, which is frustrating because I am not a very consistant anarchist, I really want to be surrounded by people who are more immersed in the lifestyle than I am so I can rise to the occasion.
I think part of the problem is that I am still in mourning for one of my very best friends who died almost a year ago.  I miss her so much, and the discussions we had.  I am her son's anarchist godmother, but I find it very difficult to communicate with his father because of both language barriers and personal problems we have always had.   I just miss her so much, and feel the loss very strongly.  She was the ultimate cocoon.  I know the natural response to this is to make my own cocoon, that I can't actually be alone, but it really feels like it.  One of the reasons I so desperately desire community is to learn and be influenced.  It is very easy for me to get wrapped up in consumerism and desires, and I need the support to keep me grounded.  I feel best when I have people around, and I am ready to learn things I wasn't ready for before.  Shit, if it was religion, I'd say I was looking for church, but I'm not looking for dogma, I'm looking for support.  The radical women I meet are very young, none are in long term relationships with children, and they often want to meet at times that are not good for me- nighttime.  I thought I found a wonderful woman at the community group, but she has moved away, and really, did not seem that interested in me.  She already has friends.  Some of the problem is a different culture, I have always said that one of the benefits of the global anarchist network is how easy it is to move around in it, but I am beginning to rethink this.  It is definitely easy to move around, to visit places, to make superficial friends, but deeper connections are proving much more difficult.  I'm just not finding it.  And now, as I search for collective housing for my growing family, I'm finding almost nothing.  I know I'm judgmental, I don't want to hang out with upwardly mobile liberals and smug hippies, I just want to find some warty, dysfunctional, radical mamas who don't know all the answers, and I'm having trouble and feel like it might not exist in this town...